Gasping for air

My favorite photographer uses the quote "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

Most time as we evaluate our lives and think about such moments we are reflecting on memories and past events. Occasionally though you realize smack dab in the minute of one such moment that you are there...a moment that takes your breath away...and you are living in the moment that you know you will remember. This past weekend I had one such moment. I was gasping for air, choking back the tears, and trying to lock the picture in my mind.

Baby H had her first birthday party last Saturday. Where did that year go? Of course we would be there to celebrate with our sweet friends. With the hubs out of town it was a little bit of a juggling act but we managed to get to the party and I knew Cupcake would love the time with her sweet friend Joshua. If you've been stalking my blog for any amount of time, you know that Cupcake and Joshua have literally be around each other since they were in the womb! Joshua's Mom is one of my dearest friends and we've been blessed to walk through some fun life stages together.

So back to the party...it was so well decorated in a precious butterfly theme. Children were everywhere with screams of joy, toys being played with, babies shaking rattles, boys outside with light sabers, and balloons floating. Cupcake has a love/hate relationship with balloons. She loves how they dance in the wind but once lost one to the sky and has been sensitive about them ever since. Lucky for her the balloons at this party did not have helium....so there was no risk in loss, right? She was playfully tossing a pink (her favorite) balloon back and forth with Joshua's grandpa. She was giggling with joy when suddenly the balloon popped in her hand. She both hates the loss of a balloon and hates loud or startling noises. Pair that with being sensitive to missing her Daddy and massive tears ensued. I tried to snuggle, tried to reason, tried to kiss away each elephant tear that dropped from her sweet checks all to no avail. Sometimes you just need space.

Other times you need the one friend who knows you better than anyone. The friend who has been around since as long as you can remember and even before. The friend who you love and trust even when you are sad. I guess this was one of those times.

In the midst of fun and party chaos Joshua noticed my tear struck girl and dropped his current musing to be at our side. He rubbed her arm. He told her it was ok. He went and found another balloon to offer it to my girl. When that didn't work, he went and got a juice and offered to sit with her on the back patio. Reluctantly Cupcake agreed. Juice is a yummy treat and it was a little quieter outside. Out we go....

On the couch Cupcake drank her juice between sniffles while Joshua lovingly stayed by her side making sweet conversation. It was in those moments that I found myself gasping for air. I was trying to lock the picture as Cupcake's forever friend slowly talked her down for the ledge of 3 year old sadness. I never wanted to forget the sweet closeness they shared. The way he was looking at her. The way her tears melted to calm and eventually giggles. It was pure, precious, and a gift from God to see these sweet friends. Then a few days later an email arrived from Joshua's Mom. Apparently while I was gasping for air in one of life's moments that take your breath away....Joshua's Dad was snapping pictures.

Can you see what I saw? The perfection of young innocent friendship? Thank you God for special friends. Thank you James for capturing the moment I didn't want to forget.

Must be summer

It's crazy hot, the grass is dying, the basil is thriving, and I've got some little fish in my company....it must be summer!

Cutie Pie in her swimsuit waiting to go to the pool!

Cupcake's first day of swim class, taking her first lap!

Cupcake jumps off the wall to her teacher: 

Birthdays - I still love my Cricut

 Remember my Cricut? The paper cutting machine I HAD to have? The paper cutting machine that my Mom and I ventured out for at 4:30am on Black Friday 2009? The paper cutting machine that has since cost my hubs even more money as I collected cartridges, paper, vinyl, and fabric to make "stuff" with?

Well, years later and it's still one of my favorite crafting tools! Here's how it helped me with a few June birthdays:

The personalized beverage dispenser

Last year I saw a personalized beverage dispenser at Pottery Barn. For $80ish I could have it with my name on it. Hello children with no fresh water. Should I really spend $80 on something to occasional dispense water, for fun? No. So I found this:

 I loved the green. I loved the shape. I had big plans for personalizing it. Flash forward to this year. My friend Kelli's birthday was coming up and I wanted to have a handmade flare to my gift for her. She is the homemade gift queen. In fact a few short weeks ago I got the most amazing produce bags from her...I should blog that too. Or, you can jump over here to read about them and see them on her blog. I'm not near the seamstress she is so I opted out of sewing anything. I had to do something she didn't have access to. Hello Cricut! She is also a super fabulous hostess so one day when I saw my beverage dispenser I thought, she needs that! I immediately was on the hunt for one for her. Green is her favorite too so I went looking....to no avail. So, I opted to personalize mine for her and hopefully one day I can find one for me...even if it isn't green!

Here's her personalized beverage dispenser with help from the Cricut:

 

The Birthday Cake

Next up was our neighbor's 1st birthday. Andrew was born last June when I was pregnant, hot, and let's not hide that I was slightly jealous that Toni got to have her baby before the hottest ever summer on recorded Austin history. It's been a fast year! He is so darling and I figured he should have a little birthday cake of his own. Of course the cake plate needed some personalization too. My mother is probably gasping at my hideous attempt at icing a cake as she is the cake decorating pro. Thanks to the cricut, the cute birthday wishes detract from the cake imperfections. Happy birthday sweet boy!

 

7 months

 Cutie Pie will be 8 months next week. Guess it's time I go back a few weeks and post the 7 month picture that I've had waiting to blog for too long. What's that you say? I forgot to do the 6 month one too. Eep! Surely I don't have an 8 month old.

Here's 6 months. Little sisters ROCK!

 

Here's 7 months, her legs are getting LONG!

At 7 months she weighed just around 15 pounds putting her at 11%. She was about 45% for height and her head was 97%. Eep! I blame the head for the fact that at 7 months she still wasn't really sitting on her own. She would sit with a little help for a few minutes and then yoga style - put her head down. Since she was 7 months and still wearing 3 month clothing, I figure that her head is just a little hard to hold up. We'll get there. I'm sure she won't be 10 and still laying around.

At 7 months she doesn't like a lot of food but loves to reach for the food the rest of us are eating. She still LOVE LOVE LOVES her big sister. She talks and babbles often and sometimes out talks the rest of us. She love to jump in her jump-a-roo. She love to hold babies. She likes to point at things with one finger and is very precise with her hands. I foresee no concerns with fine motor skills. She is very alert and social. She is not the best napper if she thinks she is missing out. She will big belly laugh at sister at least two times a day. When she gets fussy, sister is usually a help. She loves to snuggle and is happy in the baby carrier with Mom...if only it wasn't getting closer to 100 degrees everyday! Whew! She still sleeps with her waist down swaddled and on her side though she sometimes rolls to tummy too. She likes to be tossed in the air by Daddy and also likes when Mom puts her in the swing at a nice gentle pace and Sissy sneaks in and ramps it up to a much higher pace. I think we have another adventurer on our hands. She loves jewelry and doesn't pull earrings yet but rather closely examines them. If I've picked a good pair she squeals with joy. She is easy going and is a great sport as we chase big sister around.

We love you, Cutie Pie!

Little bit picky

Someone is a little bit picky.  Just a little bit. 
She doesn't really like for Mom to feed her.
She doesn't really like sweet potatoes.
She doesn't really like pears.
She doesn't really like peas.
She doesn't really like bananas.
She doesn't really like zucchini.
She doesn't really like carrots.
She doesn't really like avacado.
She's a  little bit picky.

But....
She does like applesauce.
She does like Cupcake to feed her.
She'll also eat any of the above if it is mixed with applesauce. 

So meal time looks like this, on a good day:

It's ok picky pants. You make wearing food look cute and we are NOT giving up on you yet.

Goodbye, Emmy

It's been a long time coming. In fact, it would have been last summer but with a baby on the way we decided to hold off on anything that could be a source of regression. Cupcake's pacifier, Emmy, was a staple in her sleep routine but would soon be the cause of massive dental work if we couldn't kick the habit. Sigh.

So, once Cutie Pie arrived and we all settled in we started to talk about the transition. At first mention of getting rid of Emmy Cupcake was all tears. We let it sit awhile. Then we brought it up again and told her no more Emmy in the car. After a few weeks she almost forgot Emmy was there for car naps. Next up we took Emmy away at nighttime. After a few sad nights she was fine with Emmy only for nap. Then we let her keep Emmy at nap for awhile...admittedly a long while. Every couple of days I would tell her that when she was ready we'd go to the Build-a-Bear store and she could pick a special friend to hold Emmy for her. Every time I'd tell her about it, she'd reply in a sweet little voice "No thanks, let's wait a few more days." A few more days became weeks, became months. I was worried it might get ugly. Then to my complete shock she woke up from nap about a month ago and in a matter-of-fact voice told me that she was ready to put Emmy in a bunny's tummy. I jumped on it. A quick call to Dad to meet us at the mall, a diaper change for Cutie Pie and we were on it. I didn't want to risk a mind changing, though I braced myself for massive tears at the crucial moment.

Here we are at the store....Emmy in mouth one last time while holding the lifeless friend she picked.

 

 Stuffing her bunny- she chose "kind of full"

 Rubbing a heart to warm it up and get it "going"

 

Putting the heart to her ear so that bunny will be a good listener. 

 Touching the bunny's heart to her heart so that bunny will be caring and kind.

The moment of truth.  There were tears. Lots of tear. Can't you see them? Oh, wait....that is because the Mom and Dad were crying. Cupcake was all smiles. She's putting Emy away for good. Tucking away one last piece of "baby" as she proudly takes on Big girl. She was ready. We were not. Even though we knew it was best...she just decided so quick and was so mature about it that we both were taken off guard that this simple act showed us that our eldest really is growing up. 

Here she is giving bunny a bath...to make sure she is all clean and ready for her new home. She named her Juliet. Ironically one of the names once on the list for Cupcake.

That's it. We brought Juliet home. She has slept with us every nap, night, and in between. She goes in the car, she eats at the table. She is included in bed time prayers and story time. When Cutie Pie cries, Cupcake runs to find Juliet convinced she can make it better. Strangely, she usually does. One month later with our dear Juliet and not once have I heard it mentioned....Emmy. She's gone. It is finished. Another milestone to tick off. On one had a mother's heart is filled with pride for the grace such a sacrifice was met with. On the other, my heart is slow to accept that they really do grow so fast.

The hanging of a hat

Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother, Drill Team Officer, Friend, Teacher, Mentor, Co-host, Homeowner, Dog owner, Cook, Encourager, Disciplinarian, Sewing Enthusiast, Cake Decorator, Flight stewardess, and most recently, Gigi.

This in-comprehensive list of hats my mother has worn over the years is enjoyable to recall. She's worn many of those hats for me....and still does. But today, Friday June 1st, she will hang her one of these hats for the last time. 48 hours from now my mother will be a retired teacher. RETIRED!

23 years ago Daddy had been laid off. He was looking for another job but in the meantime Mom decided to go back to work. Having had every moment of her time the first 25 months of my life and 60% (you know it's true, Brudder, if only because I was the "bad" one) the years that followed, a working Mom would be an adjustment for any child. But my Mom wasn't going to let one hat compromise the other. I'm not sure now how she did it. I know that she still made my lunch. She still had home cooked dinners on the table every night of the week (tortellini night was my favorite). She still shuttled me to and from dance class, swim team, piano lessons, and my brother did some stuff too. :) She kept a clean house. She did all of our laundry. She cleaned the kitchen every night. We were spoiled! So, Mom hat still intact, 23 years ago she became a teacher.

In 23 years she has taught all kinds of students: some who were deaf, one who was mute. She has taught some with learning disabilities, other with "gifts and talents."  Some students were from a family with a mom and dad, some just a mom, others with two moms, thankfully none from monkeys. She has taught older and younger siblings sometimes she was thankful for this other times she was not. She has wiped boogers from noses, blood from knees, and tears from sweet little eyes. She has taught the lesson that pride in ones family jewels (it was a boy, of course) does not make it ok to show all the other kids under the reading table. She has helped people learn the appropriate timing of using the restroom...sadly not before there was a poop-smeared-on-the-wall incident. She has encouraged little girls of their inner beauty not their external beauty. She has been there when kids parents divorce. She has caught a thief. She has endured countless fire drills and tornado drills....those are the best because when little kids get in a ball under their desk, someone always farts and the room of kids laughs together. She has rung a school bell, made kids put their heads down on desks, and taken away recess but she never yells or insults. She used to reward with books on tape....now she rewards with iPad time. She got two masters over the years to further her education. She gets schedules of extra curricular activities from each student, each semester, and attends one of their baseball games, dance recitals, swim meets, etc. She has clocked MANY hours cheering on her students outside of her classroom. She helps them pass the STARR at the cost of tutoring sometimes as much as 4 times a week and yet her real gift is teaching the respect of each other. She is strict...and yet she loves them. I could go on and on with stories and if this wasn't a public blog I could even list names. Why? Because she loved them...the good, the bad, and the downright impossible. She would talk about them, pray for them, and try to figure out how in the one year she had with them she could make a difference. 23 years later she still gets to work early and often stays late. She still brings her own lunch. She still remembers the names of former students and LOVES to hear how they've grown. She endured many interviews with hopes of becoming a principal she never got hired. She didn't get bitter. She just kept chugging along. I know there are some kids who are thankful she was their teacher, not their principal. She remembers when kids were kids....she fights for her kids now to not grow up too fast. When others loose hope in a student, she says "I think you can." She's worn costumes to school, played in kickball games (and she hates balls being thrown at her), she's sang silly songs, and given up weekends to build trust with her students. She never quit trying to do things a little better.

Tomorrow, she'll hang her teacher hat for the last time. She's modest, she hates attention. I'm sure she'll sneak out the back door with the last box of belongings in her hands. She wouldn't want it any other way. But for 23 years I've seen the kind of teacher she is, the kind of co-worker she's been, and the kind of Mom she was in spite of it all and I just couldn't let this day slip by with out saying the following:

Mom - I am proud of you and the difference you've made. I admire your endurance. I appreciate your love for young children. Your pay checks don't reflect your worth. Your students may never know the sacrifices you made for them. Their parents may never appreciate how much you loved their child. But some of us know. I'll look at that hat on the hatstand with memories, admiration, and pride all the while knowing that 4 little ones won't remember you wearing that hat. In all too perfect timing you are making room for your next important one, Gigi. And I'm sure you'll continue to do as well with that role as you have the others.

So long, Mrs. McNally, 4th grade teacher. Job well done. Very well done.