First three months - reviewed

I posted last week on Chloe's official 3 month birthday a little post called "No more Newborn." We had guests in town (more posts on that later) and lots going on at the Crack House so I barely got those pictures up in time. However, later the depths of "No more Newborn" despair set in. Really, these three months have flown by and we've experienced more emotion, growth, and affirmation of God's plan in this time than in any other three month span as the Crack team.

When Chris and I were engaged, many people married and unmarried "warned" us of the adjustment phase of marriage. We heard the horror stories, and hunkered down with prayer, book studies, and any other opportunities for growth so we'd be ready for the misery we'd heard that first year can bring. Of course we had a fight or two...but marriage turned out to be a pretty smooth transition for us. I have nothing but fond memories of our first year...really of our whole marriage. I LOVED life as Chris and Karen. I never imagined needing kids to complete our family but we did decide it would be a fun next step.

Once we were pregnant the warnings came again...the first three months were going to be miserable, our life would never be the same, kids ruin your cloths and furniture, and so on. Once again we started reading, praying, and trying to brace ourselves for the supposed "storm" that was brewing inside me.

March 11th rolled around and people were right about one thing...our life will never be the same. At 7:40am that morning when Chloe rolled out, opened her eyes, and looked at Chris who in turn looked to me with tears flowing down his cheeks, our world was rocked. I'd try to describe it but I'm lousy with words to start and I would say this is one of life moments that you just can't describe. All I know is that we forever turned a corner in our family that can't be undone. The past three months have flown by. Of course we were sleep deprived, and we did argue at least once or twice. Of course it was hard to take in the gravity of responsibility we just took on. Of course our schedules changed. BUT contrary to the popular complaints and warnings that people love to share...it was AWESOME. I wouldn't change a second of it...not even the scary high blood pressure days. It is part of our story...the words to this chapter of The Crack Team Chronicles. I would and pray I will do it all again. Our marriage was affirmed in its strength, our bodies re-created by God in this tiny combination of Chris and I, and our hearts stretched to a capacity beyond our belief. In the hardest moments we were awe-struck with the realization and gratitude that our parents had also once endured, with the same insurmountable love, similar hard moments with us swaddled in their arms. It redefined in great lengths the sacrifice our heavenly Father made in giving up His ONLY child for our wrong doings.

I'm not counting down the days until Chloe's first birthday. I won't complain to other Mom-to-be's scaring them about some rumored misery the first months can bring. I don't feel burdened by being the sole food source for Chloe, I know it's going to fly by. Instead I am trying my best to hold on to each precious second and recieve it fully and wholey as the blessing our Father intended. Since each second slips by so quickly I'm just trying to live in the moment and recognize it for what it is...a moment in time. Because the first three months worth of moments have just slipped by, I made a little video to help us remember the precious firsts, family visits, and just how tiny our little Chloe was just a mere 90 days ago. We're beyond the newborn stage and onto new adventures but I don't regret any of what we've just been through and in some ways I know I'll always miss the infant Chloe was. Our precious little girl, we love you....