We just had to get our Christmas cards out first. Today they are all officially on the way. Yes, they say Merry Christmas. No, they don't also say Happy New Year. Yes, this is slightly embarrassing. No, I can't promise it won't happen again. We're the Crack Team...shamelessly imperfect and unkempt. Remember?
Sooooooo Bitter Biscuits.
On our 12.78 hour stint in Kingwood before flying out to Louisville my Mom hands me a box of EarthBaby Organic bitter biscuits and says, "Have you tried these with Chloe?" We hadn't. She then asks "Could she have one?" Pause for one moment: Can I just say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE that my Mom respects me as a Mom enough to ask my opinion on stuff. I have so many friends who's Mom's would just give their children whatever they thought is best without asking. If you are a friend's Mom reading my blog, heed this as your warning....you won't get Mom/Grandma of the year with that behavior. Love you, Mom....you make me believe (however untrue) that I really can do this Mom thing!
Ok...back to Bitter Biscuits (BB's for the remainder of this post). So, I tell Mom to go ahead and give her a BB. I can't quite tell you what happens over the next 10 or so minutes. It might have been that I was enjoying (read:devouring with no manners) a DELICIOUS meal made even more delicious because I did not have to make it and did not have to be in charge of Chloe while I ate it. I may have also been busily arranging Christmas gifts for our exchange that was about to take place. Or I may have just had one of those "Mom" moments. All that to say, I didn't see how the bitter biscuit went down, I just noted that we should pack those for the plane. And we did.
The next day we flew to Louisville and Chloe did GREAT. We didn't have to resort to all the tricks in my diaper bag (BB's included) because it was a quick flight in which we all slept, watched one short movie, and then basically prepared for landing. So, we then got settled into Grandma Sally's house and all took another nap. We woke up, showered, and got dressed much faster that we usually pull ourselves together so that we could make the 6pm Christmas Eve service. Here is what Chloe looked like:
We get to the service, take a seat towards the back, on an aisle. I have learned a few things about being a Mom :). The service starts...the bells, the advent candle...really a beautiful traditional service. Then the pastor calls the kiddos up to the front. Since we don't have "children's church" as part of the Gateway services I was so excited for Chloe to get to partake in something that was a mainstay of my childhood church going memories. Up we went...she basically crawled all over Chris and I and looked at the other little girls dreaming of when she could have long hair.
Then we go back to our seats and Chloe is done with church and hungry. So, since church wasn't done Chris comes to the rescue with...a BB!!! He unwraps it, hands it to her and all is well again. A few minutes later communion starts. We agree that Chris will go up with his Mom and Chloe and I will stay in the pew. No sooner did Chris and his Mom start up the long aisle to get in the long line for communion did I realize the truth about BB's. They are a HUGE dissolving mess! Imagine if you sucked on a graham cracker without ever taking a bite....only denser and more dissolving-er. BB gunk was all over her hands and with each smile and coo of delight a little more drooled out of the corners of her previously precious gummy smile and onto her velveteen Christmas dress. I'm stranded. I can't reach the diaper bag without leaning down the aisle and risking BB gunk drool on the new (did I mention this was a brand new sanctuary?) velvet pew cushions.
Hours later (ok....just moments but it was one of "those" moments) the people in the row in front of us start coming back. I sigh relief knowing Chris would be soon after. As they enter the pew but still from a distance they start to say "isn't she cute?"....but as they get closer and see the mess they pause a little and "cute" is more forced out and comes with the layers of judgement that must have been heaping on a Mom who gives her baby a BB in their brand new church. Thankfully we were miles from home and knowing I would NEVER see these people again I could careless what they thought of me and our BB mess. Next the people in the row behind us are coming back. I don't know whether they cut in line, Chris was up there confessing both of our sins, or if God,who knows I am a hard learner wanted to make sure I learned about BB's. But, of course as they are entering the pew Chloe turns to watch them...and they too start to say how cute she is...of course she smiles. I've trained her well. Only this time the smile as previously mentioned includes a dripping of BB gunk out of the corners. So, I feel the drippage making it's way down my right shoulder. Perfect. Now I get to have BB mess too!!!
Finally I see Chris coming. In my head I'm yelling HURRY UP, I NEED WIPES NOW!!! But I'm also reminding myself it's Christmas! My husband has just cleansed himself at communion. We're in church. And...of course I want to maintain my perfect wife, we can handle anything appearance. Ha. Ok....not that last one but I did want to respect my husband on Christmas. Soooo, I opted for the whispered version as he sits..."I need wipes. Please." He grabs them as he gets a closer look at what has transpired since he left and starts mopping us both up with wipes as the choir sings Away in A Manger. Thank you Jesus for the reminder that even the most precious babies lay in managers among livestock. Surely we can be forgiven for our BB gunk-ified Christmas Angel in this pretty church!!!
1 comment:
Oh yea! We have a video of that gunky biscuit not to mention that I think they are totally unsafe and twice I have had to swipe Lily's airway because she was choking on a hard chunk of it, no joke! Biter biscuits are banned form the Martin home!
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