Today Cutie Pie lost her umbilical cord stump. Sure, it was a dead thing. But it wasn't always. Less than three weeks ago it was her life source. Not only was it her life source it was her connection to me. A day after she was born, I was in the bathroom of our hospital room and I realized that there was no movement in me anymore. The child that had relentlessly kicked my insides for months had permanently removed her residence. In that moment I was sad. Of course I love seeing her, kissing her, holding her, and seeing her Daddy and sister do the same. But part of me missed how close I carried her for so long. Yet when I changed her diaper each time, I'd see that tiny albeit dead thing still clinging to her belly button and it comforted me. It was proof that not too long ago she was all mine tucked inside for only me to fully experience. Crazy? Selfish? Maternal? Probably all of those. But today when I went to change her diaper the last of the "dead thing" laid there ready to be tossed in the trash. What is left is a precious pink belly button. Maybe you all think I'm nuts but maybe there is a Mom out there who understands my sentiment in the last piece of me connected to her and it's passing. She is her own person now. She'll never remember her first residence and yet I'll forever remember it...and even if I temporarily forgot I could always take a peak at my belly because Cutie Pie left a few marks on my tummy that Cupcake did not.
Goodbye dead thing. When you were a live thing you were indispensable for me and for her. Thank you for doing your job well. Sorry I'm tossing you in the trash with dirty diapers. Seems a little underwhelming for such an amazing part of the new life in this house.
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